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Empathy

Breaking Up With Patriarchy

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“Who would you be if you were allowed to walk into your full self?” – Kenyon Farrow In this powerful panel discussion (which is also a quick watch at less than 15-minutes), five Black gender activist-scholars grapple with the role of patriarchy in their/our masculine identities, families, relationships, and communities. While the discussion poses more…

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On writing, connection, and emotions in a pandemic

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what will we be to each other / if the world doesn’t end? [1] ~~~ I write to be heard. I write to understand. I write to be understood. I write to share myself with you. I write so that maybe I won’t feel so alone. I write so that maybe we’ll connect. At some point earlier…

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On Hope and Despair

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“…Maybe it’s all gonna turn out alright / Oh, I know that it’s not / but I have to believe that it is…”  – Julien Baker “Appointments” ~~~  Today is my 37th birthday. Birthdays are interesting markers for people like me. I spend a lot of my daily energy struggling with thoughts about not particularly wanting…

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Black Boy Joy

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As the dumpster fire that is the year 2019 comes to a close, I want the final post of the year and decade to be one of hope, love, and joy. May the year 2020 be the start of a new era of healthy masculinities rooted in empathy, interconnection, and care for the self and…

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The Miseducation of the American Boy

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Throughout much of this article, I was honestly debating whether or not I thought it added anything new to the conversation on masculinities, the toxic behaviors of boys/men, and how we raise our boys in the United States. Every few months or so there is an article similar to this one that is featured in…

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Your words matter

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Our words matter, and being intentional with the message we are trying to convey can have a huge impact on the lessons (intended or not) that we are teaching young folks. Seemingly minor interactions or word choices can have significant impact on a  person’s emotional state. Words that encourage dialogue and that are not shaming…

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Men’s Cuddling Group Aims to Redefine Masculinity and Heal Trauma

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As Angela Y. Davis told us in 1979, “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist.” The former is a passive existence that enables oppression, while the latter is an active identity of resistance to the status quo. In a sexist and patriarchal society, it is not enough to…

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Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

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I was 25 or so the first time I went to therapy as an adult. I was living in NYC, working full time, and lived with my partner of several years. The past was catching up with me in ways I did not have the capacity to handle on my own, and my partner thought…

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