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Patriarchy

Breaking Up With Patriarchy

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“Who would you be if you were allowed to walk into your full self?” – Kenyon Farrow In this powerful panel discussion (which is also a quick watch at less than 15-minutes), five Black gender activist-scholars grapple with the role of patriarchy in their/our masculine identities, families, relationships, and communities. While the discussion poses more…

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The Miseducation of the American Boy

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Throughout much of this article, I was honestly debating whether or not I thought it added anything new to the conversation on masculinities, the toxic behaviors of boys/men, and how we raise our boys in the United States. Every few months or so there is an article similar to this one that is featured in…

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Men’s Cuddling Group Aims to Redefine Masculinity and Heal Trauma

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As Angela Y. Davis told us in 1979, “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist.” The former is a passive existence that enables oppression, while the latter is an active identity of resistance to the status quo. In a sexist and patriarchal society, it is not enough to…

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Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

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I was 25 or so the first time I went to therapy as an adult. I was living in NYC, working full time, and lived with my partner of several years. The past was catching up with me in ways I did not have the capacity to handle on my own, and my partner thought…

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When Sexual Boundaries are Ignored Because Men Enjoy Our Pain

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For how obsessed our culture is with sex, we are pretty terrible at talking about what good sex looks like, how to have it by talking with our partners about mutual and shared pleasure, how to ask for what we want, how to say what we don’t. We are especially really terrible at teaching our…

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What To Expect When Your Child’s Gender Is Fire

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Culturally, I understand why sex is still the first topic of conversation when we find out a friend or loved one is expecting a baby. But also, why are we not beyond this? When we ask, “What gender is your baby?” or “Boy or girl?” we are actually asking, “What genitals does your child have?”…

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Challenging Toxic Monogamy Culture

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Gender is not the only rigidly defined structure that shapes our sense of self, our relationships, and our culture. Sexuality has also been constructed in a way that limits our potential for self-realization and connection to other people. In US America, patriarchy and rape culture has mandated the sexist, transphobic, and homophobic structure of heteronormativity.…

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Thoughts on/of Suicide

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“Getting help for mental health is not enough. We live in a world where people don’t want to live in it anymore. We need to change the world.” – @nikkimwalls ~~~ I think about suicide a lot. That is a loaded sentence. I mean it in two specific ways: 1. I often think about killing…

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