Abuse can be difficult to see or name from the inside. If we suspect or believe someone we care about to be in an abusive relationship, confronting them about it in a way that may feel accusatory has the potential to push them closer to their abuser. The realities of domestic violence are often confusing and defy what might seem like common sense from the outside. Helping someone get out of an abusive relationship takes time, care, and patience. Getting out of one ourselves takes the same time and energy.
Relationships aren’t always easy, and they certainly take work to thrive. But our partners/relationships should not make us feel badly about ourselves, unsafe, or unloved.
This article synthesizes some of the work of clinical psychologist, Julie Schwartz Gottman, focusing on healthy relationships. Gottman provides four questions that might help someone think about their relationship in specific terms that reveal characteristics of the presence of abuse or a toxic partner.
Read the article and four questions here via Refinery29.
– Brett Goldberg
