If there ever was a time for men to shut their mouths and open their ears, minds, and hearts to the women in their lives, that time has to be now. To be fair, that time was actually a long damn time ago, but it’s (hopefully) never too late to do the right thing. Through the public nature of the #MeToo movement and the media coverage of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s recent testimony, the last few weeks have been particularly difficult, triggering, and re-traumatizing for survivors of sexual violence. It can be hard to know exactly how to show support for, or solidarity with, people in our lives who may (or have) experienced sexual violence. Men often do not know how to let the women in their lives know that they care about them, that they are willing to listen and learn, that they support them, that they believe them. The needs of survivors are as varied, diverse, and personal as are the survivors themselves, so this insecurity makes some sense. But that insecurity is not a valid reason for men to not make an effort. Men have to allow themselves to be vulnerable, to have their efforts rejected possibly, in order to make the effort for the sake of the women in their lives.
It can be really hard to reach out to a friend or loved one who we think or worry might be hurting, might be reliving past traumas, or may be anxious or depressed. That is absolutely true, and overcoming our own anxieties is a hurdle that many men may be struggling with as well. To help men have the tough conversations that need to happen for our culture to heal from its ongoing history of men’s violences, GQ has two really great articles for men on listening to the women in their lives.
Read the most recent post on listening via GQ, and then also check out the preceding article as well.
– Brett Goldberg
