Culturally, I understand why sex is still the first topic of conversation when we find out a friend or loved one is expecting a baby. But also, why are we not beyond this? When we ask, “What gender is your baby?” or “Boy or girl?” we are actually asking, “What genitals does your child have?” Because at that stage, a child does not have a gender identity. And it is not ok to ask about another person’s genitals. Why has it become so acceptable for us to tell strangers, acquaintances, or even family what genitals our babies have?
Gender is a social construct, and individually determined. Everyone should have the autonomy and agency to navigate the experience of figuring out their gender identity without having to push back on the expectations of their parents or society.
I am 35 and still navigate the expectations of hegemonic masculinity and have experiences of self-consciousness on presenting myself in ways that feels genuine. So from now on, I want to embrace the aspects of my gender identity that is fire.
For more information on what to expect when your child’s gender identity is fire, check out the original post from Elle (making their debut on The Bridges We Burn!).
– Brett Goldberg
