For all its dominance, and dependence on aggressiveness, competition, and strength–physical and emotional–hegemonic masculinity is incredibly fragile. Those who conform to the strictest tenets of hegemonic masculinity, the toxic elements of sexual conquest and domination, and fail to meet them, are the men more likely to engage in domestic and sexual violence, and who then…
When discussing acts of mass violence, the media often portrays the perpetrator as a loner, outsider, social outcast, or some sort of deviant. When in fact these individuals are merely taking masculine socialization to its next logical step. This article highlights how white male perpetrators of mass violence are in fact conformists to norms of…
Statistically speaking, it is incredibly likely that we know, love, and are friends or family with people who have perpetrated sexual violence against a friend, partner, or acquaintance. Coming to terms with that reality is not easy. Accepting that we have a responsibility to them and their partner to speak up may be a difficult…
Toxic masculinity requires that men distance themselves from their romantic and intimate partners, closing themselves off behind walls of isolation and entitlement. Harmful norms of masculinity do not allow for men to connect with their feelings, making it nearly impossible to connect or empathize with the emotional experience of someone with whom they are in…
I would argue that fostering empathy might be the single most important task in undoing a rape culture and replacing destructive entitlement that is at the heart of toxic masculinity. In the United States, where competition, winner-takes-all, survival of the fittest mentalities are seen as the epitome of being “American,” creating a culture that is…
In an expose spanning more than 30 years, NY Magazine gives voice to the 35 women who have accused Bill Cosby of drug-induced rape and sexual assault. As this piece highlights, women and victim/survivors of sexual violence are too-often silenced and ignored, especially when their perpetrators are celebrities or popular within their social circle. The…
Tickling conveys incredibly confusing messages around consent, pleasure, discomfort, autonomy and agency to young children. Kids may ask to be tickled, but when they say to stop, or say no more, the tickling often continues. Sometimes tickling is used as a threat, although intended jokingly, it may be enacted as a form of punishment. This…
Listen more than you speak. Reflect on what oppressed people say. Speak up against oppression. Becoming an ally is an important step in undoing cultures of oppression. Thanks to Anne Bishop for compiling this list on steps people of privilege can take to support oppressed people and work to end oppression. – Brett Goldberg Read…
