I recently met a very sweet and compassionate 83-year old woman who took a great interest in my work. Despite our age and generational differences, her social and political outlook was not that different than mine. In a few instances where our thoughts were not aligned, we were able to have respectful dialogue, and I felt heard and respected. I hope she felt the same. There were two topics upon which I decided not to offer counter-viewpoints; rather I told her that I understood her views, and thought about being ill-prepared to properly respond. Those two areas were on the police, and various “fallouts” of the #metoo movement. On the former, she said she was happy that women were being listened to, but thought it was so unfortunate that men were being made afraid to even talk to women anymore.
The problem is not that men cannot talk to women because of #metoo. The problem is that men—whether they are well-meaning or so-called “nice guys,”—all men are socialized within a rape culture that valorizes toxic masculinity and violent. Men cannot continue to treat women with disrespect and sense of entitlement. Everyone has blindspots and things to learn and #metoo has helped bring reality to light.
Shawna Potter, vocalist in the feminist punk band, War On Women, provides workshops and trainings on creating safer communal spaces, particularly focusing on concerts and festivals. Potter has written an awesome piece looking at how to flirt and interact with people in public spaces. As someone who frequents coffee shops in every city I visit, and someone who has worked as a bartender, I really love that Potter discusses ways that we can initiate conversations (friendly or romantically inclined) with other folks in public places, whether they are other patrons or employees, in ways that are respectful and honoring of their safety, personal space, and consent.
– Brett Goldberg
Read Potter’s full post via Revolver Magazine.
