I was 25 or so the first time I went to therapy as an adult. I was living in NYC, working full time, and lived with my partner of several years. The past was catching up with me in ways I did not have the capacity to handle on my own, and my partner thought…
Educating white people about white privilege (or convincing them its a real cultural phenomenon) can be a truly monumental task. By design, whiteness has been made invisible; whiteness has been normalized and naturalized to be the baseline of human existence in the United States. Specifically, white men are the model of average. Women are gendered…
For how obsessed our culture is with sex, we are pretty terrible at talking about what good sex looks like, how to have it by talking with our partners about mutual and shared pleasure, how to ask for what we want, how to say what we don’t. We are especially really terrible at teaching our…
For generations, white folks have had the privilege of not usually having to think about themselves as having a race. White, like man, has been naturalized in the United States as a neutral state of being. People of color have a race that makes them different from “normal” [white] people. Similar narratives establish women as…
Comedy can be an incredible tool for furthering social justice by challenging seats of power and shining light on uncomfortable truths. Alternatively, comedy is often wielded by those with power—straight white men—to perpetuate oppression and discrimination by picking on people marginalized by society; by punching down. In Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special, “Nanette,” the Tasmanian comic squares her…
The #metoo movement has been growing exponentially. Calls for accountability against abusive, manipulative, and violent men have touched just about every industry in the United States. At least for men at the top of those industries. There is much more work to be done, especially in industries that do not have the support and benefit of…
On April 20, 1999, I was barely a month into my 16th year, a sophomore in high school full of angst, unrequited love, joy, and maybe a little anger. For years one of my favorite songs was Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy,” the grunge anthem to teen angst and anger, but more so an ode to sadness…
The last several weeks have been, we can hope, only the beginning of a long awaited reckoning in the United States. Every day another man, or two or three, is publicly named as an abuser, a harasser, a rapist, a predator. In many instances, an element of justice has been swift as they are shamed and…