Shame and misinformation, along with antiquated and toxic ideals of manhood and masculinity, feed a culture of silence surrounding men as victims of sexual violence. In a powerful and devastating personal history written for the New Yorker, acclaimed writer Junot Díaz reveals that he was raped as a child. Diaz then details years of struggles, with…
The last several weeks have been, we can hope, only the beginning of a long awaited reckoning in the United States. Every day another man, or two or three, is publicly named as an abuser, a harasser, a rapist, a predator. In many instances, an element of justice has been swift as they are shamed and…
Author’s Note: This editorial is rooted in my personal experience, and my interpretation of the television series, 13 Reasons Why. I am not a professional/expert on suicide or depression, nor am I a clinical psychologist, therapist, or psychiatrist. As a certified Advocate for victim/survivors of sexual violence, I have training and experience in trauma counseling.…
Silence is perhaps the greatest threat to the safety and well-being of children. It is often thought that trying to “protect” children from adult themes or topics means pretending they do not exist, ignoring them, or talking about them in coded ways. But by sheltering children from the realities of sex and of violence, we…
To truly revolutionize our understanding of consent in order to foster healthy relationships, and create a world free from violence, it is fundamental that we abandon any understanding in which consent is framed in competitive terms, as something that has to be “gotten,” or viewing consent as a possession that is transactional. Healthy relationships are founded with…
Positive and informed consent has become a central tenet of both discourse and policy around healthy relationships and sexual violence prevention programming. But it is much easier to talk about consent, or to reframe “no means no” ideology into “yes means yes,” than it is, in the intimate moments of a sexual interaction, either with a…
Statistically speaking, it is incredibly likely that we know, love, and are friends or family with people who have perpetrated sexual violence against a friend, partner, or acquaintance. Coming to terms with that reality is not easy. Accepting that we have a responsibility to them and their partner to speak up may be a difficult…
Having become so normalized that we fail to see it, fail to recognize the ways we are complicit in its perpetuation, fail to acknowledge the ways–both subtle and overt–that we uphold it, rape culture requires direct and explicit naming. Shakesville provides an essential, and brutally direct, explanation defining rape culture. – Brett Goldberg Read the…
