I have never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but for the past several years I take New Year’s Eve/Day as an opportunity to recommit myself to some variation of Dan Savage’s “Campsite Principle.” Last year it read: I will strive to leave my friends, family, partners, work, coworkers, lovers, acquaintances, communities, spaces in which I am guest, and myself in better shape than in which I found them.
In a few days time, I will recommit again. The text will likely remain the same, though I have been thinking lately not only about spaces and people that I may encounter in 2019, but those who have come before. What can I do about the people and spaces who I failed to leave in better shape then how I found them?
As we have seen time and again since the reemergence of the #MeToo movement, apologies are often hollow, shallow, self-serving, false, or lip-service. How do we apologize not to save face, but to live the work and principles of accountability, community-building, and/or deepening relationships? While sexual assault is a strong example of an act that requires recognition and accountability, if we can learn lessons on how to apologize in this instance, then there is likely no scenario for which we won’t be prepared to hold ourselves accountable.
Lori Gottlieb, the resident “therapist” for The Atlantic, wrote a special edition of her regular ask-the-expert column, in which she amalgamated several questions related to: “Is it possible to apologize for sexual assault?” into one comprehensive answer. The column is enlightening and educational, and may form the basis for a more accountable 2019.
Read the full column via The Atlantic.
– Brett Goldberg
