Masculine identities can be presented in as many ways as there are people who identify as masculine. The beauty of gender identity and presentation is that in a world free from the gender binary, in which toxic masculinity does not dictate how someone has to look or behave, individuals who identify as men or masculine, can…
The #metoo movement has been growing exponentially. Calls for accountability against abusive, manipulative, and violent men have touched just about every industry in the United States. At least for men at the top of those industries. There is much more work to be done, especially in industries that do not have the support and benefit of…
As workplaces, universities, in communities, and any number of other environments struggle to come to terms with years, decades, and generations of ignoring, tolerating, or encouraging the violence of men against women, the question of accountability has been thrust to the forefront of our collective conversation. Banishment is an appropriate and necessary recourse against powerful individuals…
We still have far to go in our understanding and discussion of the violences of men in the United States and abroad. Domestically, there has been increasing recognition in the wake of acts of mass violence in schools that a common trait in each of the perpetrators–who are predominantly young white men–is a history of violence…
I recently met a very sweet and compassionate 83-year old woman who took a great interest in my work. Despite our age and generational differences, her social and political outlook was not that different than mine. In a few instances where our thoughts were not aligned, we were able to have respectful dialogue, and I…
The most insidious aspect of rape culture is that we perpetuate it unintentionally through norms, behaviors, and actions that we have come to accept without truly questioning whether there is an underlining meaning or resulting consequence. Often, under the vein of trying to “protect” our children, we teach them lessons that remove their agency, eliminate their…
Shame and misinformation, along with antiquated and toxic ideals of manhood and masculinity, feed a culture of silence surrounding men as victims of sexual violence. In a powerful and devastating personal history written for the New Yorker, acclaimed writer Junot Díaz reveals that he was raped as a child. Diaz then details years of struggles, with…
Popular culture presents no shortage of great examples of men who embody a toxic and unhealthy masculinities. Equally problematic is that too often these bad examples aren’t presented as such; in fact, they are often presented as the ideal. Instead of valorizing violent and emotionally-disconnected ways of being a man, we need to promote and encourage tender men: Men who…
